she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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