You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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