If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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