I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
