so explain again why im purple
no
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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