Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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