His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
