we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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