You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
