so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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