My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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