my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
