dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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