im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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