Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
