take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
