My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
