She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
