dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
