It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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