p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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