is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
