when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
