you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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