shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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