I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
