i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
