from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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