He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
