Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
