love makes seman taste better
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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