the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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