I've blown a few things in my day
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
