The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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