my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
