You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
