For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
