The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
