You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
