tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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