I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
