"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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