I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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