Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
