is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
