it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
