Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
