just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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