It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
