I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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