its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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