I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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