In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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