i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
