dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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