I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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