you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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