a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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