you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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