You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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