Its about making memories worth repressing
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
