OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
