People in love make me want to vomit
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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