can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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